When Friends Change…


When I was in high school I had a very small circle. When I mean a small circle I mean a very small circle -I had one best friend Elizabeth and I knew a lot of people – but she was the one that knew all of my secrets, saw the ugly cry, held my hand through so many scary things, and really got me. I didn’t and I don’t have to pretend with her. I can be just who I am and she accepts me warts and all – just as I am. It doesn’t matter that 2500 mile separates us – we pick up where we left off every single time we talk.

As I got older navigating relationships became more and more difficult. I had expectations of how I thought the friendship should be. What I didn’t realize is that everybody comes with baggage, and to be truly a real friend you have acknowledge and accept their baggage as well as what they bring to the table. What I didn’t know at the time – but I know now is that there are people that will come in and out of your life – they might serve a purpose, carry out a task, or just be there when you need them, and then they might go away. And that’s okay. I have also learned during this time with what I call transitionary friends is that I don’t have to accept their  baggage. I just don’t. That most likely means a real and true friendship won’t blossom – but that’s OK too.

These days I’m not so much interested in superficial anything. I’m interested in deep and abiding friendships that are authentic and have integrity- and that means I do acknowledge and accept their baggage, it’s part of who they are.

I used to feel guilty when I would clear the decks and cull the deadwood – not anymore. It’s refreshing. I love myself enough to come to the point that I am able to say out loud it’s a privilege to know me, and it’s a privilege to be in my company – I don’t feel embarrassed or bad to say that at all.

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